Why Don't You?
- Why Don't You Talk About The Sermon? (1)
- Go on a short-term mission trip? (2)
- Serve On A Camp (3)
- Why don't you practise hospitality? (5)
- Why Don't You Sing Carols? (6)
- Why Don't You Give Generously? (7)
- Why Don't You Consider Professional Counselling? (9)
Anyone experiencing mental health suffers. Their loved ones usually suffer too. Mental health is complicated. It’s painful to experience and to support; overwhelm and confusion are common. Loving believers want to care well for the hurting and help alleviate their suffering, reflecting the Father of all comfort and compassion (2 Cor. 1) when they do. Indeed, an empathetic witness to suffering, who listens, gives their time and is consistent is a balm to the soul. Someone who is wise in their use of Scripture, and careful in approach, brings much-needed hope. Yet for some sufferers, this isn’t enough. What then?
The question, ‘Have you considered professional counselling?’ is often met with hesitancy, possibly because we think it replaces pastoral counsel, oversight and one-another care. However, professional counselling can occur alongside church care, often providing a grace-filled gateway to growth.
Let’s consider a few questions that sometimes underpin the hesitancy.
Can a counsellor ‘renew someone’s mind to transform them into Christlikeness’?
Compassion is wonderful but it doesn’t necessarily mean someone is competent to understand the complexity of mental health, or the importance of intentional questions to uncover layers of pain. A professional counsellor understands both. Some counsellors are believers, but the majority aren’t. However, there are many areas of life in which we welcome the secular input of others. In God’s common grace, he gives secular counsellors a desire to help the hurting. He equips them with knowledge, skills and experience to help someone move forward positively and safely. They possess the appropriate ‘toolkit’ – including a referral pathway for helpful diagnosis and possible medication – to help a sufferer grow. This is especially important if mental health struggles involve volatile emotions, psychosis (impaired reality), suicidal thoughts, or significant biological symptoms. These are things most loving helpers would miss or avoid, sometimes with disastrous consequences. They also represent significant body barriers to the renewing of the mind if not recognised and addressed appropriately.
Every good gift is from the Father of lights (Jas. 1:17) and this includes the gift of competent secular professionals. There is no realm in which God is not present and powerful to act, and he can use anyone and anything to transform someone by the renewing of their mind for their good and his glory.
Shouldn’t Scripture and prayer be enough?
A lay understanding of mental health struggles can mean we lack knowledge, sensitivity and wisdom to correctly apply the nuances of Scripture. Sufferers can be inadvertently harmed when suffering is seen as sin meaning they are disciplined instead of being helped and encouraged (1 Thess. 5:14). A counsellor will listen carefully to the sufferer’s story. Careful questioning and reflection help someone who is isolated and confused feel heard and understood. The underlying issue usually isn’t what presents most to those trying to help informally. Counsellors explore biblical themes far more than we (or they) think. Suffering, fears, destructive beliefs, harmful behaviours and broken bodies all frequent counselling discussions. Emotions, values, motivations and treasures do too. All are scriptural themes because they’re all part of life in this fallen world and addressing these areas is important for growing in godliness. When a believer visits a counsellor, they never attend alone. The Spirit is within; he helps, challenges, comforts, protects and guides them. He can powerfully transform the believer as they consider these areas in the safe and trusting environment a counsellor gives.
A good counsellor should work closely with the sufferer’s unique worldview; ethically it is an essential part of treating another person with dignity and respect. A skilled practitioner knows how vital context is to the sufferer’s struggle and recovery. Counsellors understand the problems of compulsive introspection. Equally, they recognise the importance of healthy community and a person’s faith for healing. Without the Spirit, the counsellor of course cannot understand spiritual truths themselves. However, many counsellors go above and beyond to understand their client’s beliefs and apply them in concrete ways.
Isn’t a loving friend better than a stranger?
Sitting with suffering is hard. Sometimes a sufferer may be reluctant to share their deepest thoughts because of the negative impact it might have on their friend personally, and their relationship. Sometimes they are willing but what they share is deeply distressing for a friend to hear. A counsellor will have supervision to help them process what they hear. Healthy boundaries and self-care are important for consistency and longevity. This ensures they, and those they support, are kept safe and enables them to remain compassionate and curious about patterns of behaviours and beliefs the sufferer lives out every day yet cannot see. This can bring immense healing from habitual patterns of thinking, feeling, choosing and behaving. The counsellor is equipped to help the sufferer contain destabilisation if unexpected emotions arise during exploration. These moments are still grace-filled kingdom moments, sovereignly ordained and controlled by our loving God.
Together in the struggle
Deciding to see a professional counsellor does not preclude help from believers. Both aspects of care are important for the safety and continuation of all involved. As counselling helps the sufferer understand and reframe their struggle, it can pave the way for the sufferer and trusted helper to consider counselling insights through the lens of God’s Word. Together, they can seek help from the Spirit, and hope from the Word. Together they can confidently approach the throne of grace in prayer. Together, both sufferer and helper can grow in Christlikeness as they express humility, dependence and need. Growth is not despite the struggle, but because of the struggle through which God reveals his provision, goodness and love through the hands and feet of others, both believers and non-believers alike.
Counselling services can be accessed via your GP, or privately through the following websites: the Association of Christian Counsellors (www.acc-uk.org), the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (www.bacp.co.uk) or the British Psychological Society (www.bps.org.uk).
If you would like further support or help, please visit your GP and seek help from your local church.
