Spending Christmas In A Non-Christian Family

Each year, in the lead-up to Christmas, we have the same idea being proclaimed all around us: Christmas is for family. Whether it’s through the different cinematic supermarket adverts picturing families gathering together or the Christmas music all around us, the message is clear. Christmas is an almost sacred time when everything stops so that families can be together. This messaging creates a sense of pressure that we need to make our time together with our loved ones perfect. For Christians spending Christmas with their non-Christian family, the pressure and expectations around the meaning of Christmas can lead to some tricky situations. What do you do when you and your family disagree on what the meaning of Christmas is?
Every year I make the drive to spend Christmas in my parents’ house with my grandparents and siblings. It’s one of a handful of times a year when we’re all under one roof. We’re all aware that these moments are fleeting and few, and we want to make the most of them. Yet, every year, tensions rise because, as a Christian, I believe that Christmas is not all about family, but about marvelling at and celebrating the birth of Jesus, Immanuel, God with us. Time with my family is a priority, but it’s not my top priority. In the past, this has led to snide remarks, full-blown arguments, and even some manipulation and/or blackmail. I know I’m not alone in those situations. Many Christians who spend Christmas with their non-believing family are familiar with that tension.
Whatever your circumstances, take comfort in the true meaning of Christmas this year. At Christmas we celebrate God coming to dwell on earth as a man. Jesus’ family was unsupportive of his ministry and failed to recognise who he was. Jesus is not a stranger to the feeling of division and alienation that we might experience at Christmas. When we find ourselves saddened or frustrated by our families and our hearts are crying out for them to know the Lord Immanuel this year; we can know that Jesus understands how we feel, and his heart is crying out for them too.
Being salt and light
Whatever it looks like in your context, whether privately or publicly, make time to celebrate the real meaning of Christmas. Pray that God will help you when you are tempted to sacrifice aspects of your walk with God to avoid conflict or please those around you.
For all families, feelings run high at Christmas. When we are the only Christian present, we are aware that our Christian life is under a microscope. Our families are watching what we do and how we do it. For some of us, we might be the only Christian they get to watch close up! This can give us an opportunity to point them to Jesus without saying a word. Pray that God will help you to be salt and light to your family, and where you inevitably get it wrong, that God will help you display his humility and grace.
Christians with non-Christian families are used to walking that tightrope of to-speak-or-not-to-speak when it comes to sharing the gospel. We long for our families to come to know Jesus, but we’re afraid of pushing those conversations too far. Christmas, however, can be one of the easier times to share our faith. Family members who’d never come to a Sunday service may be happy to come to a carol service or even a Christmas Day service. Lots of our traditions are rooted in the Christian faith and can all create unexpected conversations if we’re prepared to trust in the Lord and try. Pray that God, for whom all things are possible, will do the seemingly impossible in your family’s hearts.
Can I also encourage Christians to pray for your brothers and sisters who are facing Christmas with a tremor of anxiety? I have a friend whom I can call when things get too much. Together we’re able to talk it through, bring it back to Jesus, and end in a time of prayer. If Christmas is a time of family, then surely that should include our spiritual family too.