Walking Alongside Those With Mental Health Struggles
- Loving Friendship (1)
- Giving Spiritual Support (2)
- Giving Practical Support (3)
It’s difficult to read a newspaper without coming across an article about mental health and increasingly we hear people talk about things not being good for their mental health. Whatever you think of this, it is clear that there is a better awareness of mental health today than in previous years. This is a good thing as recognising the place of our mind in response to God and life are important themes in Scripture. We are not merely souls, detached from our bodies and minds; we are all of these, as God created us.
Mental health is about how we understand and process what is going on in us and around us in life, and the effect of this on our behaviour. For a Christian, central to this is our fellowship with God. Good mental health enables us to be balanced and reasonable in the way we approach life and faith and includes times when sadness, anxiety or feeling very unhappy are healthy responses to the regular challenges of life.
At the same time, the regular challenges of life may develop into times of unusual struggles, when we have dark thoughts or anxious feelings for no obvious reason that will not go away. We may find ourselves stuck in grief or with alarming thoughts that will not leave us. These are difficult times for a Christian and may make us feel like a fraud or guilty, and they can be times when we question our faith. In one hand, we hold the wonderful themes of God’s love and faithfulness but in the other hand, we have the hard realities of our struggle. At times like this, we may feel lonely and confused. We may bottle up our struggles or hide them behind a smile, to keep people from finding out. All Christians struggle with their mental health from time to time. There may even be times when mental health becomes severe mental illness which is always deeply challenging. In this article, I am considering mental health struggles but not serious conditions like schizophrenia.
Living in a fallen world
The Bible doesn’t hide the fact that godly people know the struggles of mental health. It opens with Eve and Adam hiding from God in shame, anxiety and confusion. It shows great characters of faith knowing times of great struggle within their mental health. Moses knew a time when he wanted to quit (Ex. 33); Elijah a time when he wanted to die (1 Kings 19); David, Asaph and the Sons of Korah wrote psalms about the experience of confusion, sorrow and anxiety (Ps. 42, 77, 88, etc); Peter knew deep shame and sorrow (Luke 22); and Paul wrote of a time when he was completely overwhelmed by life and wanted to give up (2 Cor. 1). Perhaps most striking, in his humanity, Jesus knew profound anxiety and crushing loneliness (Mark 14).
Just as biblical characters struggled, church history also records many Christians who have faced profound mental health struggles. Martin Luther, David Brainerd, William Cowper and Charles Spurgeon knew times when their mental health was affected profoundly. Previous generations wrote helpfully about these struggles with more insight and nuance than we tend to.
There are times we may struggle with our mental health because of our sin, like David in Psalm 51 but sometimes we struggle because of things beyond our control like the disciples in the storm in Mark 4.
These examples remind us that the strongest of Christians may struggle with their mental health and that struggling with our mental health is not weakness but the consequence of living in a fallen sinful world.
Christians, and many of the people we reach with the gospel, may be broken and damaged by life. This could be because of things from their childhood, a destructive relationship, or they may be damaged by drugs or abuse. The pressure to define our identity based solely on our inner feelings is particularly cruel for vulnerable minds and often leads to dark consequences. The wearing effects of the endless treadmill of the empty promises of materialism exhaust and disillusion. The wounds of life in our modern world may go deep into a person’s mental health.
Carry each other’s burdens
How may we walk helpfully alongside someone who struggles with their mental health? In the shadow of all this is the light of hope in Jesus. He is the one of whom it was said, ‘A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out’ (Is. 42:3). He invites us in our distress, ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest’ (Matt. 11:28). Jesus and his words are like fixed stars in the night sky that help us navigate life and faith when our mental health is troubled. Yet moving from mental distress to the place of comfort in Christ is not always an easy or quick fix. The struggles of the mind are always complex, which is why simple solutions pushed onto a sufferer often frustrate and may even harm. The care that is needed is the wisdom, patience and love of a good friend.
Most people accept that the healing of a fractured bone takes time. It is a natural process that often requires specialist support. At the same time, the support and kindness of a Christian friend can be a great blessing. It is similar with wounds to the mind. These too may need time, a respect of the natural process and specialist medical or pastoral support. Yet within all this, the gentle, persistent and wise support of a Christian friend is invaluable.
Mental health struggles can often isolate a person, so a friend who is present and who models the friendship Christ has with us is invaluable. We are to ‘carry each other’s burdens’ (Gal. 6:2). We should aspire to be a friend who has learned to listen well; a friend who is patient, persevering and who understands the struggle; a friend who prays; and a friend who builds the reassurance that it is safe to talk honestly about what is going on and who works to understand, persevere and love.
All of this is not easy. Supporting sufferers makes demands on our time. It requires patience and love. Without love, our support may be the opposite of helpful for we may make support superficial. We may find frustration tempts us to overlook the need for the process of healing and offer the quick fix advice of ‘just pray and trust more’.
Yet the effort is always worth it for ‘in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ’ (Gal. 6:2).
If you would like further support or help, please visit your GP and seek help from your local church.
