Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart (Heb.12:1-3).
Earlier this year, we gathered as a family to bury our precious daughter Amy, aged 34. She was buried beside her brother Dan who had died 4 years ago, aged 28. While we look back with much thankfulness and live with the certain hope that Amy and Dan are now enjoying the fullness of life with Jesus, there remains the question for us of ‘what next?’ and ‘how do we keep going?’ We had been caring for our children for over thirty-five years and things are now very different.
About thirty years ago we sat in a consulting room and received the diagnosis that two of our four children had a rare neurodegenerative condition, Sanfilippo Syndrome (MPS III), which meant they would probably only live into their teenage years. Early development looked typical, but then they started falling behind their peers. By their early teens, Amy and Dan had lost all mobility, speech and understanding, becoming totally dependent and requiring 24/7 care.
Since the day of their diagnosis, we have had a great sense of the Lord’s help and presence. Yes, there have been many challenges, but Amy and Dan have brought us much joy and we have had many happy times together as a family. We have met some interesting people, enjoyed some unusual adventures, and had many opportunities to ‘give a reason for the hope that is within us’ (1 Pet. 3:15). We are thankful to the Lord for his many blessings over the years but are now acutely aware that the future will be very different. There is now an ‘Amy and Dan shaped hole’ in our lives; a big chapter has come to an end.
As we begin to explore what the next chapter looks like for us, we are reminded that ‘Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever’ (Heb. 13:8). So much has changed, but he has not. He has been faithful in the past, and we trust that he will continue to be so in the future. We have known him with us, and he promises ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’ (Heb. 13:5).
A great cloud of witnesses
Hebrews is a book full of exhortation to keep going. Chapter eleven lists ‘a great cloud of witnesses’ that surround us (Heb. 12:1). Some are named but many are not. They are here as an example and an encouragement to persevere. They were all ‘commended for their faith’ (Heb. 11:39). If they could keep going, so can we. They didn’t have all the answers, and nor do we. They were looking and waiting for ‘something better’, and we wait too.
Fix our eyes on Jesus
We are called to ‘run with perseverance the race marked out for us’ (Heb. 12:1). The two words ‘for us’ are significant. We are called to run our own race. Not everyone will face the death of two children as we have done, but all of us are to ‘fix our eyes on Jesus’ (Heb. 12:2) whatever our circumstances, knowing that ‘his grace is sufficient’ (2 Cor. 12:9).
As we fix our eyes on him, we are reminded that ‘he is the author and perfecter of our faith’ (Heb. 12:2). He is the one who saved us. He is the one who has helped us along the way and changed us through our experiences. He is the one who continues with us and will bring us safely home to be with him.
Suffering and rejoicing are friends
As we consider Jesus, we see that ‘for the joy set before him he endured the cross’ (Heb. 12:2). Throughout the New Testament suffering and joy are never far from each other. We see this in the letters of both Peter and Paul. Jesus is the supreme example, showing us that suffering and rejoicing are friends.
We have known suffering as we cared for Amy and Dan, watching them deteriorate and walking with them through ‘the valley of the shadow of death’. Yet at the same time, we have been strengthened by the presence of the Lord and known his joy. It is impossible to explain, but it has been a privilege to experience.
At God’s right hand
We take comfort that the work of Jesus goes on. He has ‘sat down at the right hand of the throne of God’ (Heb. 12:2), and has ‘entered heaven itself, now to appear in God’s presence for us’ (Heb. 9:24). His work goes on, representing us in the presence of God! This is amazing and encourages us to keep going.
We do not lose heart
We have good days and tough days. We miss Amy and Dan deeply. We know that the only way forward is to keep looking to Jesus. We are encouraged to ‘consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart’ (Heb. 12:3).
How are we to keep going? By fixing our eyes on Jesus! He is the one who will lead us forward and give us the daily strength to live with joy amidst our grief. He has been faithful in the past and that gives confidence and courage to face the future.
