• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Recent Issues
      • May/June 2025May/June 2025
      • March/April 2025March/April 2025
      • January/February 2025January/February 2025
      • September/October 2024September/October 2024
      • November/December 2024November/December 2024
      • July/August 2024July/August 2024
      • More…
  • Authors
      • Catherine HaddowCatherine Haddow
      • Daniel CharltonDaniel Charlton
      • Tony BrownTony Brown
      • Stuart OlyottStuart Olyott
      • Wayne ProbertWayne Probert
      • Tom OlsonTom Olson
      • Kerry OrchardKerry Orchard
      • John SnyderJohn Snyder
      • Adam ThomasAdam Thomas
      • Ashleigh HullAshleigh Hull
      • More…
  • Sections
      • Bible
      • Church
      • Comment
      • Faith
      • History
      • Life
      • Mission
      • My story
      • Prayer
      • Remembering
      • Reviews
      • Theology
  • Subscribe

Autism In The Church – A Parent’s Perspective

Part 2 of the Living with... series

Sophie KillingleySophie Killingley3 minute readMarch/April 2023, page 26

Living with...

  • Living With Untreatable Cancer (1)
  • Autism In The Church - A Parent’s Perspective (2)

What comes to mind when you hear the word autism? Maybe Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, or Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory? Someone who is awkward and rigid, with a genius-like ability for maths or science? The truth is so much broader than media stereotypes. There is still a huge amount of misunderstanding surrounding autism. Put simply, autism is a lifelong neurological condition. It isn’t something to be ‘grown out of’ and it doesn’t need a cure, just understanding and compassion!

The Impact of Autism

I am a mum to two incredible autistic young teenagers and those who don’t have autistic people in their daily lives cannot begin to fathom how much low-level trauma they experience, even on ‘good days’. A friend told me of her autistic child recently, ‘The world is a violent shock to him every morning.’

Autistic people can struggle with many things that neurotypical people barely register. Just a few are the abilities to organise oneself, to understand the body and what it is telling them, to incorporate different textures in food and clothing; tolerance for loud noises or the need for extra sensory stimulation. These invisible difficulties are compounded by people who expect them to behave in the same ways as themselves and to have the same social stamina.

Positively speaking, hyper-focus is the delightful ability to concentrate on a subject of interest. The feeling of not quite fitting in makes some autistic people very empathetic. Different ways of thinking and approaching problem solving can bring unique insights. All these can be beautiful qualities within faith. Some autistic people have great memory for Bible passages and stories, show compassion for others who also seem unsure of themselves and can delight in worship and prayer due to their sense of being ‘in the moment’.

As a parent, I have found that God has taught me about adjusting expectations. I have had to ditch some Christian parenting books which pile on the guilt as we see how far we fall short. Talking to a counsellor helped me choose what is essential and what I can let go. I am learning not to compare my circumstances with others and look to the family I have. I am learning to forgive when wounded by others’ comments, whether well-intentioned or just unwise.

Welcoming those with autism into the church family

The Bible speaks of the beauty of diversity in the church. Paul shows us how God has placed the parts of the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be (1 Cor. 12:18). He goes on to say, ‘the head cannot say to the feet “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable’ (1 Cor. 12:22). Rather than seeing those with neurological difference as somehow ‘less than’, we need each other to see the world from another’s eyes, for opportunities to learn from one another and to be sanctified as we serve each other.

Realistically it can be hard for autistic people to fit into church life. Church can be a place full of overwhelming strange sounds and people, a frightening place that sometimes can be tolerated, but is sometimes just too hard to be in.

Here are my top three tips for those wanting to help autistic people and their families in church.

  1. Communicate. Parents often just want to know that their families are included and loved. Tell them that and invite them to share with you how autism impacts their family in both the good and the challenging ways. Questions asked in good faith are usually welcomed.
  2. Ask autistic people and their families what accommodations would be helpful and try to implement them. Examples might include a quiet room to use or being able to see the order of service or termly planner in advance so they are able plan accordingly.
  3. Believe what they say. When you are told of the difficulty and low levels of trauma an autistic person or their parents are dealing with daily, accept it and acknowledge it.

In a church family, willingness to learn and understand is impactful. Often compassion is the greatest way of living out Galatians 6:2: ‘Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way fulfil the law of Christ.’

Found this helpful? Like, share or tweet

Want more like this? Get the latest articles direct by email every week:

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Your personal details are safe. We won’t spam you, or pass your details onto anyone else. You can unsubscribe at any time.

About the author

Sophie Killingley
Sophie Killingley is an artist and writer based in Surrey.

Read next

Living With Untreatable Cancer
by Linda Webster (part 1 of Living with...)
Giving Practical Support
(part 3 of Walking Alongside Those With Mental Health Struggles)
Why Don't You Consider Professional Counselling?
by Catherine Haddow (part 9 of Why Don't You?)
Hope For Perfectionists
by Adam Thomas
Giving Spiritual Support
by Sheila Stephen (part 2 of Walking Alongside Those With Mental Health Struggles)
The Medium Is The Message
by Sophie Killingley (part 1 of The Creative Calling)
Screen Time Sabbaticals
by Jonathan Thomas
Loving Friendship
by Philip Swann (part 1 of Walking Alongside Those With Mental Health Struggles)

Primary Sidebar

Like us on Facebook

Evangelical Magazine

Latest issue

Other popular articles

  • Screen Time Sabbaticals by Jonathan Thomas
  • God And Father Of Our Lord Jesus Christ by Philip Eveson
  • Why Don't You Consider Professional Counselling? by Catherine Haddow
  • A Wittenberg Wedding by Daniel Charlton
  • Hope For Perfectionists by Adam Thomas
  • What is ‘praying in the Spirit’ and how do we pray in this way? by Stuart Olyott
    97 likes
  • Golgotha - Why was Jesus crucified outside the city? by Mark Barnes
    32 likes
  • Why was Jesus baptised in the River Jordan? by Mark Barnes
    76 likes
  • Until we meet again by Alun Ebenezer
    182 likes
  • Mount of Olives: The Suffering and Glory of the Messiah by Mark Barnes
    30 likes

The Evangelical Magazine is published by the Evangelical Movement of Wales.
Waterton Cross Business Park, South Road, Bridgend CF31 3UL.
Registered charity number 222407. View our privacy policy.